If Natalia really wants to improve and transform herself, the first step is to become aware of the weaknesses which may be holding her back and preventing her evolution:
– her coolness and distance
– her lack of consideration for others
– her rigidity
– her need for total control
– her fear of her emotions
To trust myself better and gain self-assurance, the first thing I must do is learn to say no. Once I am capable of saying no to others, I can say yes to life. I must develop my awareness of all the things I love and feel positive about, as well as all the changes I hope to make in order to enjoy life more. This is the foundation that will support me, the inexhaustible source and center of the transformation of my personality. Infantile anxieties which arose in childhood when I was helpless may be obstacles to my evolution. Sometimes they actually prevent me from daring to confront challenges I would be altogether capable of assuming now! One of the reasons I yield to these childhood fears so readily is that they procure a feeling so familiar to me that, although it is negative, it is a reassuring part of my identity. However, the more often I reinforce this complex by yielding to that feeling, the more unaware I become of my true emotional state. The irrational childhood fears have also reinforced my pessimistic tendencies. It is difficult for me to believe in the sunny side of life because of the pernicious little voice inside me that claims I don’t really deserve all this goodness. This side of me could undermine my vitality and force me to compensate or flee from reality. In doing so, I limit my power to bring about a positive change in myself or my life. It’s a vicious cycle, and to free myself, the first step is to free myself from the fears which prevent me from taking full advantage of life. I can succeed if I arrange a relaxed, positive environment for myself, establish sincere relations with one or two special people, and, if possible, find a setting – perhaps a yoga class – in which I can practice relaxation exercises.