If Matt Rife really wants to improve and transform himself, the first step is to become aware of the weaknesses which may be holding him back and preventing his evolution:
– his tendency to hyperfocus on minutiae
– his over intellectualization
– his comfort with a constant state of worry
Although Matt Rife is friendly and outgoing and commits himself to friendships and partnerships, he often finds it difficult to balance his own needs, desires, and goals with the objective reality of others and their individual desires and needs.
To understand and overcome this problem, Matt should accept the idea that every relationship follows more or less the same general scheme: a base of intimacy and an accomplishment or purpose apart from the relationship itself. If Matt succeeds in defining, through discussion and communication, what sort of intimate relationship he and his partners want to maintain and what accomplishment or purpose they hope to achieve, many conflicts will be avoided.
To trust yourself better and gain self-assurance, the first thing Matt Rife must do is learn to say no. Once Matt is capable of saying no to others, he can say yes to life. Matt must develop his awareness of all the things he loves and feel positive about, as well as all the changes he hopes to make in order to enjoy life more. This is the foundation that will support Matt, the inexhaustible source and center of the transformation of his personality. Infantile anxieties which arose in childhood when Matt was helpless may be obstacles to his evolution. Sometimes they actually prevent Matt from daring to confront challenges he would be altogether capable of assuming now! One of the reasons Matt yields to these childhood fears so readily is that they procure a feeling so familiar to Matt that, although it is negative, it is a reassuring part of his identity. However, the more often Matt reinforces this complex by yielding to that feeling, the more unaware Matt becomes of his true emotional state. The irrational childhood fears have also reinforced Matt’s pessimistic tendencies. It is difficult for Matt to believe in the sunny side of life because of the pernicious little voice inside Matt that claims he doesn’t really deserve all this goodness. This side of Matt could undermine his vitality and force Matt to compensate or flee from reality. In doing so, Matt would limit his power to bring about a positive change in himself or his life. It’s a vicious cycle, and to free Matt, the first step is to free Matt from the fears which prevent him from taking full advantage of life. Matt can succeed if he arranges a relaxed, positive environment for himself, establishes sincere relations with one or two special people, and, if possible, finds a setting – perhaps a yoga class – in which he can practice relaxation exercises.