If you really want to improve and transform yourself, the first step is to become aware of the weaknesses which may be holding you back and preventing your evolution: your perfectionism, your tendency to hyperfocus on minutiae, your over intellectualization, and your comfort with a constant state of worry.

66Samus finds it difficult to balance her own needs, desires, and goals with the objective reality of others and their individual desires and needs. To understand and overcome this problem, she should accept the idea that every relationship follows more or less the same general scheme: a base of intimacy and an accomplishment or purpose apart from the relationship itself. If she succeeds in defining, through discussion and communication, what sort of intimate relationship she and her partners want to maintain and what accomplishment or purpose they hope to achieve, many conflicts will be avoided.

66Samus sometimes finds it difficult to stabilize her life and steer a steady course. She is proud of her intellectual abilities and even tend to overestimate them in a search for recognition and admiration. Yet, at other times, she might seem to scoff at other people’s opinions. At times, she tends to be overwrought and high-strung. She might want to schedule frequent rest periods for herself.

66Samus often is too tense and irritable to stick to a task for long. 66Samus easily is bored and distracted, and 66Samus bouts of inattention usually keeps 66Samus from engaging in any action totally. 66Samus tends to start a multitude of projects, but rarely finishes them, because meanwhile 66Samus has started some new enterprises. It might be advisable for 66Samus to learn to coordinate his energies and actions, if 66Samus want to avoid exhausting his vitality.

To trust yourself better, the first thing you must do is learn to say no. Once you are capable of saying no to others, you can say yes to life. You must develop your awareness of all the things you love and feel positive about, as well as all the changes you hope to make in order to enjoy life more. This is the foundation that will support you, the inexhaustible source and center of the transformation of your personality. Infantile anxieties which arose in childhood when you were helpless may be obstacles to your evolution. Sometimes they actually prevent you from daring to confront challenges you would be altogether capable of assuming now! One of the reasons you yield to these childhood fears so readily is that they procure a feeling so familiar to you that, although it is negative, it is a reassuring part of your identity. However, the more often you reinforce this complex by yielding to that feeling, the more unaware you become of your true emotional state. The irrational childhood fears have also reinforced your pessimistic tendencies. It is difficult for you to believe in the sunny side of life because of the pernicious little voice inside you that claims you don’t really deserve all this goodness. This side of you could undermine your vitality and force you to compensate or flee from reality. In doing so, you limit your power to bring about a positive change in yourself or your life. It’s a vicious cycle, and to free yourself, the first step is to free yourself from the fears which prevent you from taking full advantage of life. You can succeed if you arrange a relaxed, positive environment for yourself, establish sincere relations with one or two special people, and, if possible, finds a setting – perhaps a yoga class – in which you can practice relaxation exercises.