If you really want to improve and transform yourself, the first step is to become aware of the weaknesses which may be holding you back and preventing your evolution. These could be your shallowness, lack of sincerity, indifference, frivolity, or fear of commitment.

Aidan Turner sometimes has a conflict between wanting to be successful socially and professionally and needing a stable, secure domestic life. He is deeply committed to both ideas and sometimes doesn’t always succeed in reconciling their schedules and demands on him. Sometimes it feels as though he will never be able to find a balance. However, no job promotion will really satisfy him if he has neglected his most intimate needs and desires. Although it sometimes seems easier to him to climb the rungs of the career ladder out there in the real world, if he merely sacrifices his domestic life, he is only trying to fool himself. He should accept the fact that his domestic life is the true basis and foundation of his development. All his career endeavors and success will be even more rewarding if they are supported by a safe, warm personal life.

To trust yourself better and gain self-assurance, the first thing you must do is learn to say no. Once you are capable of saying no to others, you can say yes to life. You must develop your awareness of all the good things in your life and all the changes you hope to make to enjoy them more. This is the foundation that will support you, the inexhaustible source and center of the transformation of your personality. Infantile anxieties which arose in childhood when you were helpless may be obstacles to your evolution. Sometimes they actually prevent you from daring to confront challenges you would be altogether capable of assuming now! One of the reasons you yield to these childhood fears so readily is that they procure a feeling so familiar to you that, although it is negative, it is a reassuring part of your identity. However, the more often you reinforce this complex by yielding to that feeling, the more unaware you become of your true emotional state. The irrational childhood fears have also reinforced your pessimistic tendencies. It is difficult for you to believe in the sunny side of life because of the pernicious little voice inside you that claims you don’t really deserve all this goodness. This side of you could undermine your vitality and force you to compensate or flee from reality. In doing so, you limit your power to bring about a positive change in yourself or your life. It’s a vicious cycle, and to free yourself, the first step is to free yourself from the fears which prevent you from taking full advantage of life. You can succeed if you arrange a relaxed, positive environment for yourself, establish sincere relations with one or two special people, and, if possible, finds a setting – perhaps a yoga class – in which you can practice relaxation exercises.