If Noah Schnacky really wants to improve and transform himself, the first step is to become aware of the weaknesses which may be holding him back and preventing his evolution:
– his excessive independence
– his fear of commitment
– his eccentricity
– his instability
– his fear of intimacy
Noah Schnacky may experience discord in relationships. Although Noah Schnacky is friendly and outgoing and commits himself to friendships and partnerships, Noah Schnacky often finds it difficult to balance his own needs, desires, and goals with the objective reality of others and their individual desires and needs.
To understand and overcome this problem, Noah Schnacky should accept the idea that every relationship follows more or less the same general scheme: a base of intimacy and an accomplishment or purpose apart from the relationship itself. If Noah Schnacky succeeds in defining, through discussion and communication, what sort of intimate relationship Noah Schnacky and his partners want to maintain and what accomplishment or purpose they hope to achieve, many conflicts will be avoided.
To trust himself better and gain self-assurance, the first thing Noah Schnacky must do is learn to say no. Once he is capable of saying no to others, he can say yes to life. He must develop his awareness of all the things he loves and feel positive about, as well as all the changes he hopes to make in order to enjoy life more. This is the foundation that will support him, the inexhaustible source and center of the transformation of his personality. Infantile anxieties which arose in childhood when he was helpless may be obstacles to his evolution. Sometimes they actually prevent him from daring to confront challenges he would be altogether capable of assuming now! One of the reasons he yields to these childhood fears so readily is that they procure a feeling so familiar to him that, although it is negative, it is a reassuring part of his identity. However, the more often he reinforces this complex by yielding to that feeling, the more unaware he becomes of his true emotional state. The irrational childhood fears have also reinforced his pessimistic tendencies. It is difficult for him to believe in the sunny side of life because of the pernicious little voice inside him that claims he doesn’t really deserve all this goodness. This side of him could undermine his vitality and force him to compensate or flee from reality. In doing so, he limits his power to bring about a positive change in himself or his life. It’s a vicious cycle, and to free himself, the first step is to free himself from the fears which prevent him from taking full advantage of life. He can succeed if he arranges a relaxed, positive environment for himself, establish sincere relations with one or two special people, and, if possible, finds a setting – perhaps a yoga class – in which he can practice relaxation exercises.