If you really want to improve and transform yourself, the first step is to become aware of the weaknesses which may be holding you back and preventing your evolution. You need to become aware of your tendencies, so that you can change them. You need to become more secure, so that you can face the challenges of life. You need to stop escaping into fantasy, so that you can live in the present. You need to let go of your need for approval, so that you can be your own judge. You need to let go of your hunger for the past, so that you can create a better future. And most importantly, you need to be more aware of your fear of the future, so that you can plan for it and prepare for the challenges that will come.

You sometimes sense a conflict between your desire for social and professional success and your need for a stable, secure domestic life. You are deeply committed to both ideas and do not always succeed in reconciling their schedules and demands on you. Sometimes it feels as though you will never be able to find a balance. However, no job promotion will really satisfy you if you have neglected your most intimate needs and desires. Although it sometimes seems easier to you to climb the rungs of the career ladder out there in the real world, if you merely sacrifice your domestic life, you are only trying to fool yourself. You should accept the fact that your domestic life is the true basis and foundation of your development. All your career endeavors and success will be even more rewarding if they are supported by a safe, warm personal life.

Bella Mir understands that every relationship follows a certain general scheme, one that includes a base of intimacy and an accomplishment or purpose apart from the relationship itself. If she and her partners can come to an understanding of what kind of intimate relationship they want to maintain and what accomplishment or purpose they hope to achieve, many conflicts will be avoided.

Bella Mir tends to be restless and impatient. Her dissatisfaction sometimes compels her to launch herself into an energetic effort to transform society. Because she has the ability to conceive of fairly radical models for social change, she sometimes demonstrates a desire to spearhead a progressive movement. However, her determination to impose her own ideas forcefully could turn off people she is so eager to help. She will do well to realize that only a transpersonal vision of the world (that is, a vision which transcends her own personal ego problems) is appropriate nourishment for the archetypes which could bring about a real transformation and improvement of social structures.

Bella Mir has a fairly individualistic temperament and is something of a loner. She is reluctant to commit herself to partnership. Her tendency to want to be the sole authority may put a painful crimp in relationships. When she is confronted directly, her reactions may be rather extreme. However, in crisis situations which require immediate and decisive action, she comes to the forefront, with her ability to mobilize all her energy quickly and effectively.

You must learn to say no to life in order to gain self-assurance. Once you are capable of saying no, you can say yes to the things you love and to life itself. You must develop your awareness of all the things you love and feel positive about, as well as all the changes you hope to make in order to enjoy life more. This is the foundation that will support you, the inexhaustible source and center of the transformation of your personality. Infantile anxieties which arose in childhood when you were helpless may be obstacles to your evolution. Sometimes they actually prevent you from daring to confront challenges you would be altogether capable of assuming now! One of the reasons you yield to these childhood fears so readily is that they procure a feeling so familiar to you that, although it is negative, it is a reassuring part of your identity. However, the more often you reinforce this complex by yielding to that feeling, the more unaware you become of your true emotional state. The irrational childhood fears have also reinforced your pessimistic tendencies. It is difficult for you to believe in the sunny side of life because of the pernicious little voice inside you that claims you don’t really deserve all this goodness. This side of you could undermine your vitality and force you to compensate or flee from reality. In doing so, you limit your power to bring about a positive change in yourself or your life. It’s a vicious cycle, and to free yourself, the first step is to free yourself from the fears which prevent you from taking full advantage of life. You can succeed if you arrange a relaxed, positive environment for yourself, establish sincere relations with one or two special people, and, if possible, finds a setting – perhaps a yoga class – in which you can practice relaxation exercises.