If you really want to improve and transform yourself, the first step is to become aware of the weaknesses which may be holding you back and preventing your evolution. Amanda Cerny has identified a few of them:- your continual need for security- your tendency to escape into fantasy- your hunger for approval- your longing for the past- your fear of the future- your investment systems.
You sometimes feel a conflict between your desire to succeed in social and professional life and your need for a stable and secure domestic life. You are deeply committed to both ideas and find it difficult to reconcile their demands on you. Sometimes it feels as though you will never be able to find a balance. However, no job promotion will really satisfy you if you neglect your most intimate needs and desires. Although it sometimes seems easier to you to climb the rungs of the career ladder out there in the real world, if you merely sacrifice your domestic life, you are only fooling yourself. You should accept the fact that your domestic life is the true basis and foundation of your development. All your career endeavours and success will be even more rewarding if they are supported by a safe, warm personal life.
To trust yourself better and gain self-assurance, the first step is to learn to say no. Once you are capable of saying no to others, you can say yes to life. You must develop your awareness of all the good things in your life, as well as all the changes you hope to make in order to enjoy life more. This is the foundation that will support your transformation, the inexhaustible source and center of the change in your personality. Infantile anxieties which arose in childhood when you were helpless may be obstacles to your evolution. Sometimes they actually prevent you from daring to confront challenges you would be altogether capable of assuming now! One of the reasons you yield to these childhood fears so readily is that they procure a feeling so familiar to you that, although it is negative, it is a reassuring part of your identity. However, the more often you reinforce this complex by yielding to that feeling, the more unaware you become of your true emotional state. The irrational childhood fears have also reinforced your pessimistic tendencies. It is difficult for you to believe in the sunny side of life because of the pernicious little voice inside you that claims you don’t really deserve all this goodness. This side of you could undermine your vitality and force you to compensate or flee from reality. In doing so, you limit your power to bring about a positive change in yourself or your life. It’s a vicious cycle, and to free yourself, the first step is to free yourself from the fears which prevent you from taking full advantage of life. You can succeed if you arrange a relaxed, positive environment for yourself, establish sincere relations with one or two special people, and, if possible, find a setting – perhaps a yoga class – in which you can practice relaxation exercises.