Zalmay Khalilzad if you want to improve yourself must become aware of the weaknesses that are holding him back and preventing his evolution, his overweening ego, his need to show off, his aggressiveness, and his excesses.
You sometimes sense a conflict between your desire to be successful socially and your need for a stable, secure domestic life. You are deeply committed to both ideas and do not always succeed in reconciling their schedules and demands on you. Sometimes it feels as though you will never be able to find a balance. However, no job promotion will really satisfy you if you have neglected your most intimate needs and desires. Although it sometimes seems easier to you to climb the rungs of the career ladder out there in the real world, if you merely sacrifice your domestic life, you are only trying to fool yourself. You should accept the fact that your domestic life is the true basis and foundation of your development. All your career endeavors and success will be even more rewarding if they are supported by a safe, warm personal life.
To trust yourself better and gain self-assurance, the first step is to learn to say no. Once you are capable of saying no to others, you can say yes to life. You must develop your awareness of all the things you love and feel positive about, as well as all the changes you hope to make in order to enjoy life more. This is the foundation that will support you, the inexhaustible source and center of the transformation of your personality. Infantile anxieties which arose in childhood when you were helpless may be obstacles to your evolution. Sometimes they actually prevent you from daring to confront challenges you would be altogether capable of assuming now!
One of the reasons you yield to these childhood fears so readily is that they procure a feeling so familiar to you that, although it is negative, it is a reassuring part of your identity. However, the more often you reinforce this complex by yielding to that feeling, the more unaware you become of your true emotional state. The irrational childhood fears have also reinforced your pessimistic tendencies. It is difficult for you to believe in the sunny side of life because of the pernicious little voice inside you that claims you don’t really deserve all this goodness. This side of you could undermine your vitality and force you to compensate or flee from reality. In doing so, you limit your power to bring about a positive change in yourself or your life. It’s a vicious cycle, and to free yourself, the first step is to free yourself from the fears which prevent you from taking full advantage of life.
You can succeed if you arrange a relaxed, positive environment for yourself, establish sincere relations with one or two special people, and, if possible, finds a setting – perhaps a yoga class – in which you can practice relaxation exercises.