Sarah Wilson discusses consciousness and the ideal of self in her book “The Sense of Self.”
Sarah is trying to overcome her feelings of insecurity. To do so, she needs a home: a dwelling, a territory, or perhaps a safe space or setting where she can rest, and let down her systems of defense against the outer world, which she finds aggressive and hostile. She is ready to make some sacrifices in order to maintain and consolidate the structure she has chosen. True inner security, based on real knowledge of herself, her abilities, and her shortcomings, her strengths and her weaknesses, would no doubt be most effective and would allow her to remain open to the varieties of experience offered by the world.
Sarah has a paternal complex and, as a result, some trouble finding her identity. Perhaps her father or a father figure was absent physically or emotionally during her childhood, which deprived her of the patterns or models which are usually helpful in structuring a personality. Because she might have lacked a particular sense of security which could be provided by a paternal presence, as well as the examples of behavior to follow in confronting the difficulties inherent in every life, she was forced to protect herself against negative influences and find her own system in order to grow and feel secure.
Although this system was quite useful to her as a child, it has now settled in to such a degree that it interferes with her evolution. Psychological defense mechanisms and crutches which were once useful now encumber her mind or inhibit her developmental efforts. As a result, in certain situations, it is difficult for her to assert herself, and she tends to remain an awkward or passive observer. Because her authoritarian urges are mainly directed at herself rather than others, she sometimes feels guilty about her behavior. She judges herself severely, and sometimes punishes herself by setting difficult tasks for herself. Gradually, she should build up a strong inner discipline and acquire the strength to face the problems of existence in a detached and mature way.
Sarah has a personality and behavior liable to be disrupted by a contradiction between the masculine and feminine archetypes ruling her psyche. Because her sensitivity is in conflict with her determination, her attitude and performance may sometimes be moody, fluctuating, and uncertain. Usually, she has the feeling she has to make superhuman efforts to succeed in assuaging her yearnings and fulfilling her ambitions. Her unconscious, sensitive side often disapproves of her conscious endeavors and stealthily works to defeat them, causing crucial omissions, mistakes, and gaps which effectively sabotage her plans. In her relationships, the images she builds up and projects on the other are contradictory. As a result, any bond, even if it is pleasant and positive, might also annoy her. She could find it dissatisfying and irritating at the same time.
Sarah adapts and becomes sensitive to different situations.
Sarah Wilson is mild-mannered and sensitive. She is deeply human. She is sociable and sincerely devoted to others. Her mother or a mother-figure had a strong influence on her psyche, and her childhood was an important time in her life. She still identifies with vivid childhood memories; they are the basis for her reveries, for her extreme sensitivity, and for habits which she may be slow to break. However, she will thrive in the shelter of a family setting, soothed by the presence of a spouse and children. She is fond of security and routine; being somewhat impressionable and anxious, she may have trouble adjusting to situations which are unfamiliar.
Sarah has a lively intellect, agile mind, and sensitive feelings. However, she does not always avail herself of it and may be confused or irrational in some situations. Although she enjoys playing with words, ideas, and concepts, her thought sometimes lacks discipline and structure. She is fairly preoccupied with details and may tend to waste her nervous and mental energy in futile verbal outpourings. Moreover, her feelings sometimes blur her objective vision of phenomena and people, which may cause her to make errors in judgment.
Sarah maintains strong ties with her past, and it often seems difficult for her to open her heart to new people. Her love affairs might exist on the surface level, because her lust and sensual desire rarely turn into a need to understand, protect, and care for the other. Moreover, it is difficult for her to meet partners who combine the ideals of the tender parent and the great lover.
Sarah has difficulty distinguishing dreams from reality. Although her bubbling imagination provides an abundant source of inspiration for creative or spiritual evolution, it tends to be less helpful and positive in matters that concern her self-assertion as responsible and self-sufficient. In a relationship, she is extremely romantic and does not always see others the way they really are.
Sarah has a sensitivity and emotions that are sometimes in conflict with her instincts. This inner discord makes her a fairly complicated relationship partner, and her behavior sometimes strikes others as mysterious or baffling. She is liable to switch from one attitude to the opposite. Sexuality is an important part of her life, and her relationships are most often motivated by her desires. Nevertheless, due to the strength of her instincts, passion may overwhelm her and drag her into situations she cannot always control, which intermingle erotic ecstasy and anguish, guilt, and aggressiveness.
Sarah Wilson has a love and sensuality for life. She is passionate about everything she does, and her love for others is genuine. She is able to express herself in ways that are both intimate and stimulating.
Sarah Wilson is looking for the ideal love and tends to idealize her friends and lovers. A bizarre character, she may prefer to dream of her soulmate instead of making love to one; she is more in love with the idea of love than anything else. Her idealism may hide a fear of truly committing herself to a relationship; she tries to intellectualize everything. In time, two options will seem clear to her: an amorous friendship based on shared ideas and intellectual exchange, or an open relationship, free of all constraints except mutual respect.
Sarah's birth chart indicates a somewhat introverted emotional function which is influenced by the cultural values traditional to her family and social class. Because she does not always trust her emotional urges and reactions, she generally prefers to hang back and acquire some perspective before committing herself emotionally.
Sarah Wilson's emotional involvement might be the source of some dissatisfaction for her. The usual romantic behavior and the lifestyle values prevailing in this area are not really appropriate for her. As a result, she seeks few intimate emotional relationships or contacts. She tends to stay in the background and fulfill her emotional needs by sublimating. She might not attain full romantic satisfaction until she reaches middle age.
Sarah is sensitive and vulnerable. She easily discourages in love. It will take her a long time to detach herself from her family, and she will be defenseless by herself. Her constant need to be reassured limits the scope of her relationships. She moves within a narrow circle. A romantic setback could traumatize her. As a result, the one she commits to is primordial.
Sarah Wilson has a tendency because of her naivety and idealism to be drawn into unlikely or at the least complicated emotional situations. In many cases, she will be irresistibly attracted to a person who is not at all right for her or whose aspirations are diametrically opposed to her. If she marries, her relationship may sometimes be conflicting.
Sarah has the fiery, importunate nature of a fervent lover. Indeed, affairs of the heart are one of her main purposes in life. Her personal charm and magnetism are compellingly seductive; unfortunately, her attempts at conquest do not always lead to the fulfillment and satisfaction of her desires. Due to her impulsiveness and impatience to initiate new encounters, her approach to those she is attracted to may sometimes lack tact and delicacy. As a result of the foregoing, it may be somewhat difficult for her to maintain stable and harmonious relationships. Indeed, her emotional behavior is subject to a conflict between her quest for love and her need to satisfy her lust. Her outpourings of affection and her need to be loved in return sometimes create complicated situations in which lust may be confused with love, or love may exist without lust, and she may feel unrequited or unfulfilled. This inner contradiction is a sign of her tendency to derive pleasure from suffering – either her own or that of her partner. The relationship thus becomes the setting for a sort of power struggle, weakening it as a source of psychological equilibrium. Nevertheless, she could sublimate this difficulty through artistic expression.
Sarah may be characterized by strong sensual and affectionate urges which drive her to seek pleasure. Her need for romantic fulfillment may compel her to marry, because she also seeks the legal and social legitimacy the institution of marriage confers on an emotional bond. Indeed, the household is liable to be prosperous and even opulent, as if this offered further evidence that she had indeed achieved success. However, privately, she might be less committed to certain obligations and duties.
Sarah has a great emotional ideal, full of subtlety and tenderness. However, she tends to be overwhelmed by her imagination and may not be selective enough when choosing a partner. Her romantic and trusting nature may make her vulnerable. Although she strives to establish peaceful, uncomplicated relations, she sometimes experiences painful disappointments. Her artistic delicacy and refinement provide her with a sincere love of the arts, music, and literature. She is likely to be a gifted poet.
Sarah Wilson has a good balance between her need for movement and her tendency to be sedentary. She is just as likely to adapt to situations which require outbursts of initiative as to those which demand patience and perseverance. From the outside, she seems to be detached and aloof, but on the inside she is an extremely complex individual, full of contradictions. Because she sometimes feels vulnerable emotionally, she tries to control not only her own feelings and urges, but may also strive to manipulate those of her partners. She aspires to a profound and enduring spiritual unity, but at the same time, the idea of abandoning herself and yielding to the other terrifies her. This anguish may be a source of rather extreme behavior patterns and a somewhat self-focused attitude which could damage the relationship. Because she is guarded and somewhat secretive, she tends to be suspicious and is especially uneasy about spontaneous intimacy, although she is fascinated by sexuality. Within the privacy of the couple, she will not express her feelings unless she is subject to some tension. Life may be peppered with frequent crises and feuds, arguments and spats which usually act as erotic provocation. This derivation of eroticism from anxiety tends to be one of the fundamental characteristics of her emotional and sexual functioning. As a result, she is likely to be attracted by stormy and complicated relationships.
Sarah has a high mental and intellect.
Sarah Wilson sometimes considers the input from her subjectivity and emotions as static which she try to tune out to go straight to the essence of knowledge. As a result, regardless of her field of study, she tries to obtain perspective. She will elaborate a thought on the basis of fairly cold, abstract logic, supported by sober, concise, and immaculate reasoning. Her choice areas of study could be mathematics, philosophy, legislation, or political science. Ideologies, theories, and any other system of reasoning could serve as “food for thought” for her.