If you want to become a better person, the first step is to become aware of the weaknesses which may be holding you back and preventing your evolution. These could be things like your perfectionism, your tendency to hyperfocus on minutiae, your over intellectualization, and your comfort with a constant state of worry.
Lamar Johnson has fairly single-minded and obstinate desires. He displays a remarkable persistence in the pursuit of his commitments, despite any obstacles he may encounter. He is highly charged with sensuality and sexuality, and they have a great deal of influence on his behavior. His expression in this area is sometimes fraught with problems because he has a tendency to try too hard to control his lustful urges. However, an emotional crisis intervening at around age 40 may bring about a total redefinition of his relationship to his sexuality.
As a young person, you may feel out of phase with the social conventions and belief systems regulating your community or the ethical codes you are supposed to follow. Although, like anyone, you want to become a productive and valuable member of society, the models of success and achievement you see around you don’t particularly inspire you for some reason. In order for you to find your own individual way to fit in, you will have to go through a period of long, hard introspection and self-examination, if you have not done so already. This intense introspection will yield a new self-image, a new identity, and a new vision of the world. It will be a turning point in your way of participating in society. Possible opportunities for introspection include a major journey, or advanced studies, etc.
To trust yourself better and gain self-assurance, the first thing you must do is learn to say no. Once you are capable of saying no to others, you can say yes to life. You must develop your awareness of all the things you love and feel positive about, as well as all the changes you hope to make in order to enjoy life more. This is the foundation that will support you, the inexhaustible source and center of the transformation of your personality. Infantile anxieties which arose in childhood when you were helpless may be obstacles to your evolution. Sometimes they actually prevent you from daring to confront challenges you would be altogether capable of assuming now! One of the reasons you yield to these childhood fears so readily is that they procure a feeling so familiar to you that, although it is negative, it is a reassuring part of your identity. However, the more often you reinforce this complex by yielding to that feeling, the more unaware you become of your true emotional state. The irrational childhood fears have also reinforced your pessimistic tendencies. It is difficult for you to believe in the sunny side of life because of the pernicious little voice inside you that claims you don’t really deserve all this goodness. This side of you could undermine your vitality and force you to compensate or flee from reality. In doing so, you limit your power to bring about a positive change in yourself or your life. It’s a vicious cycle, and to free yourself, the first step is to free yourself from the fears which prevent you from taking full advantage of life.