If you really want to improve and transform yourself, the first step is to become aware of the weaknesses which may be holding Bobbie Eller back and preventing her evolution:- her shallowness- her lack of sincerity- her indifference- her frivolity- her fear of commitment.
Bobbie Eller sometimes senses a conflict between her desire for social and professional success and her need for a stable, secure domestic life. She is deeply committed to both ideas and does not always succeed in reconciling their schedules and demands on her. Sometimes it feels as though she will never be able to find a balance. However, no job promotion will really satisfy her if she has neglected her most intimate needs and desires. Although it sometimes seems easier to her to climb the rungs of the career ladder out there in the real world, if she merely sacrifices her domestic life, she is only trying to fool herself. She should accept the fact that her domestic life is the true basis and foundation of her development. All her career endeavors and success will be even more rewarding if they are supported by a safe, warm personal life.
Bobbie Eller trusts herself more by learning to say no. Once she is able to say no to others, she can say yes to life. Bobbie Eller develops her awareness of all the good things in her life and all the changes she hopes to make in order to enjoy life more. This is the foundation that will support her, the inexhaustible source and center of the transformation of her personality. Infantile anxieties that arose in childhood when she was helpless may be obstacles to her evolution. Sometimes they actually prevent her from daring to confront challenges she would be altogether capable of assuming now! One of the reasons she yields to these childhood fears so readily is that they procure a feeling so familiar to her that, although it is negative, it is a reassuring part of her identity. However, the more often she reinforces this complex by yielding to that feeling, the more aware she becomes of her true emotional state. The irrational childhood fears have also reinforced her pessimistic tendencies. It is difficult for her to believe in the sunny side of life because of the pernicious little voice inside her that claims she doesn’t really deserve all this goodness. This side of her could undermine her vitality and force her to compensate or flee from reality. In doing so, she limits her power to bring about a positive change in herself or her life. It’s a vicious cycle, and to free herself, the first step is to free herself from the fears which prevent her from taking full advantage of life. She can succeed if she arranges a relaxed, positive environment for herself, establishes sincere relations with one or two special people, and, if possible, finds a setting – perhaps a yoga class – in which she can practice relaxation exercises.