If Bella Wylie really wants to improve and transform herself, the first step is to become aware of the weaknesses which may be holding her back and preventing her evolution:
– her coolness and distance
– her lack of consideration for others
– her rigidity
– her need for total control
– her fear of her emotions
Bella Wylie has significant intellectual potential which may merely need to be managed better and oriented toward her environment. In the first part of her life, this mental energy may have some negative effects and drive her into self-destructive behavior. She will have to make an effort to understand certain obsessions, which are unconscious and therefore all the more powerful and irresistible, if she wants to overcome the feelings of failure they cause. A complete psychological metamorphosis may occur when she makes up her mind to accept and understand the matters she has rejected and repressed.
To trust yourself better and gain self-assurance, the first thing Bella Wylie must do is learn to say no. Once she is capable of saying no to others, she can say yes to life. Bella must develop her awareness of all the things she loves and feel positive about, as well as all the changes she hopes to make in order to enjoy life more. This is the foundation that will support her, the inexhaustible source and center of the transformation of her personality. Infantile anxieties which arose in childhood when she was helpless may be obstacles to her evolution. Sometimes they actually prevent her from daring to confront challenges she would be altogether capable of assuming now! One of the reasons she yields to these childhood fears so readily is that they procure a feeling so familiar to her that, although it is negative, it is a reassuring part of her identity. However, the more often she reinforces this complex by yielding to that feeling, the more unaware she becomes of her true emotional state. The irrational childhood fears have also reinforced her pessimistic tendencies. It is difficult for her to believe in the sunny side of life because of the pernicious little voice inside her that claims she doesn’t really deserve all this goodness. This side of her could undermine her vitality and force her to compensate or flee from reality. In doing so, she would limit her power to bring about a positive change in herself or her life. It’s a vicious cycle, and to free herself, the first step is to free herself from the fears which prevent her from taking full advantage of life. She can succeed if she arranges a relaxed, positive environment for herself, establishes sincere relations with one or two special people, and, if possible, finds a setting – perhaps a yoga class – in which she can practice relaxation exercises.